Thank You Elvira For Your Recommendation & Hosting of this Film
I read Cassandra Peterson aka Elvira’s autobiography titled Yours Cruelly, Elvira recently and learned in it of a movie called Oblivion. If you’re in the mood to read my writing, you can read my blog on her book here because you will likely get much more enjoyment out of that piece of prose than this one. My writing on Oblivion will be a short blog about a long movie. Not “long” in run time but “long” as in hard to sit through. I did watch the version from Elvira’s Movie Macabre and thank God I did. Having Elvira comment and make appearances was the only thing that really kept me interested. Here we go onto one of the worst movies I’ve ever reviewed.
Oblivion Did Have an Indian...I Think?
Forget Cowboys and Indians. Oblivion was more like cowboys and aliens. Well, there was an Indian, but he didn’t even look like an Indian. Another warning – I watched this a long time ago at the time of writing this blog and the details are fuzzy now many months later. If memory serves me right, he spoke in a stereotypical Indian style but, didn’t look the part at all. I’m not trying to be stereotypical here towards Native Americans, but there were no feathers and the like. I have always been fascinated with the American Indians and their respective cultures. While this character was weak in creativity, there were some that were not.
Elvira & Oblivion Writer(s) Share Similar Humor
I can see why Elvira would have hosted a movie like this. The corny humor in Oblivion was a highlight and helped you sit through this overall terrible movie. The Mistress of the Dark has her own corny humor, and it pairs – she would make a joke there – well with this film. Let me be clear, I am not trashing Elvira or her work. I’ve met her, she’s 100% super cool, and I’m a fan. I just see some stylistic fit here. As an example of humor in Oblivion, there is a Japanese fellow who is drunk all the time. At one point, he is drinking Jim Beam and he makes a comment about “Jim Beam me up.” Other tag lines like “It’s high noon…in space” are common in this movie. There had to be some relief from the suffering of watching Oblivion.
Cool Group of Henchmen and a Henchwoman Too
As usual, no plot review. Just know that Oblivion’s was basically Star Wars meets Kano from Mortal Kombat. At least, that’s what notes I took. Moving along – the bad guy has a team of unique henchmen and a henchwoman too. I hoped this clan would turn out to bring some creativity and fun to Oblivion. Of this team, there was a cool female character who used a whip, and her name was Lash. My favorite of his squad though was a Spanish bullfighter. I really saw potential in this character but unfortunately, he brought a knife to a gunfight, literally, and lost. Pulling his knife on people was his thing and it got him killed. The antagonist had a singular red eye like Kano and all the creatures resembled early Star Wars models like the Rancor and Salacious Crumb.
Another interesting character in Oblivion is the undertaker character named Gaunt. This fellow was tall, skinny, and creepy. Whenever he showed up, someone was about to die. Apparently, his gift was a preemptive knowledge that someone’s life was soon coming to an end, and he showed up in preparation to do his job. So, when Gaunt walked into the bar, town square, or wherever, everyone started asking this question “Will it be me?” As the plot draws to a close, he becomes part of the protagonist’s team and helps to defeat the antagonist lizard man who resembles Kano. Gaunt was perhaps the best character. If they had done right by the bullfighter, this would not have been the case though. Gaunt would have taken second place. At least if they would have used the bullfighter to the level of creativity I hoped and expected.
OG Catwoman, Well Julie Newmar, & Shaft Are In Oblivion
Going in, I had higher hopes for Oblivion than I should have. As I mentioned, Elvira mentioned it as a start so, I was intrigued. Then, as the opening credits role I see that Sam Elliott directed it. Naturally, I thought Western and Sam Elliott, that’s two things that pair well together. I expected that the Western movie legend would be putting a creative spin on his best genre, but no. It turns out it was a different Sam Elliott. Of course, I’m glad it was. If THE Sam Elliott had directed Oblivion and it turned out this bad, it would have greatly disheartened me towards him. While we’re mentioning big names, Oblivion features Isaac Hayes who played Shaft, and Julie Newmar who played Catwoman from the ‘60s Batman series. Her character’s name is Miss Kitty too. Pow! There’s some ironic humor.
Calling Oblivion Fans - Are They're Any?
Closing out and I’m glad because I’ve had this post drafted on WordPress forever and I’m glad to get it behind me, Oblivion is certainly on my NEVER watch again list. If I do, it will be the Elvira version and I will make good use of the Fast Forward keys – I’ll have memorized the location of those two little arrows by the end for sure. The story sucks. The plot sucks. The acting sucks. The humor is irritating. Needless to say but I will anyway, Oblivion is a very hard-to-watch movie. If you’re one of those people who finds enjoyment from movies that are terrible – people who get enjoyment from mocking films for instance – you will be buying Oblivion on DVD for your personal collection! I’m wiping the sweat from my brow as I say to myself and in writing here, Thank God that this blog is behind me!
If there is anybody out there reading this week’s blog that actually enjoyed Oblivion, please tell me why in the comments. I would love to talk to someone who is a fan of Oblivion. I mean I like bad movies, but this one was too much. Let’s get a conversation started. Now that you’ve finished reading my thoughts on one of the worst movies I’ve ever watched, check out my artwork here. You can get to my social media and more stuff here. All likes, subs, and followers are appreciated!