I Miss VHS Tapes, Both Video Quality and Certainly the Case Art
This will likely be one of the shortest blogs from me because there is so little to say. I mean, I can only say “I wasted and hours and a half of my life” so many ways. My hopes were high on this one. Going in, I had only seen the poster and a VHS copy of this movie. Based on the poster art and that feel you get, or people like me get anyway, from that black plastic case with the slide in art for the front, I expected this one to soon become a favorite. 1.5 hours later, I was questioning what better things I could have done with my time. There were some good things in Microwave Massacre though – discussion begins now.
Opening Sequence - ONLY Good Part of Microwave Massacre
Of all the opening sequences I’ve ever seen, I think this one was the greatest. I don’t know enough technical stuff to say to talk about film but, I felt that the opening was artistic. If I were a director, I would film like this. As the opening credits are playing with the names of actors and roles, etc. the camera is following a young lady walking down the street in 1979. Words are bright red and while they contrast great, they blend in somewhat against her shirt. Our walker is blonde and not a big-name actress but seems to be the, what I imagine, standard young blonde woman of 1979 would be. As she walks and the credits roll, the camera angle changes. Her pace or gait never changes, but the angle does from the front to the back, to upward. I don’t know why, but this really stood out to me. It also set the bar and man did it fall short within just a few minutes after this scene.
You can read more about this terrible movie here. You should be able to watch for free on Tubi here. Again, I wouldn’t waste your time though. You would probably have more fun painting yourself with honey and disturbing a bee’s nest. I hope someone gets that ATHF reference. Let’s move on.
Cool Stuff to See in Microwave Massacre
I’m not going to ramble because if you read my blogs, it tends to come up. There’s a VW bus and you even get to see the inside of this one for a short period of time. Among the other cool 1970s stuff is the lingo and the clothes. There are several scenes where folks are rocking the classic collared shirts that are clearly 70s. Many times, characters say things like we have to “rap about” this or that. I did appreciate the interior design of the main characters home. It didn’t look like they had a lot of money in the budget for set design so, the home was decorated in what looked like an authentic 1970s thrift store bought level décor. I’m used to seeing higher end set design so, this was fresh. Also, beside the home, there is a lot of scenes in a dance bar which is also period.
Movie Is Over (Good) & So Is This Blog
More on that thrift store idea. The props used for the dismembered people, and there were a few, looked like they were bought at one of these seasonal Halloween stores. Of course, it was the 1979 seasonal Halloween store but, they were still that cheesy. This added onto the terrible acting and the terrible story. Here’s my mistake with this one. I didn’t read anything about it and only watched based on the poster and VHS case. I stare and the opening sequence is amazing. Then I just held on hoping it would get cool only to find our 1.5 hours later that it never would. Then, and only after wasting 1.5 hours of my life, did I read that it’s considered a comedy. It was a dark, cheesy, horror-comedy, but not a horror movie. Had I read this, I wouldn’t have watched this one. Microwave Massacre was nothing less than a challenge to sit through.
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